Anything May Happen, Whether You Want It To or Not

You wake up in a dark room. Where are you?
There is nothing around you, except what seems like a bookshelf. It's empty.
There seems to be light coming from behind the bookshelf, but it's hard to tell. You are not strong enough to move the bookshelf yourself. If you move it, you will waste all your energy. If you don't move it, you are trapped and will probably starve.
You search your pockets.
I your pockets you find a yoyo, a rope, some glue, some sticky tape, a book on how to hypnotise a wildebeest, an empty box of tissues and some fake dog poo.
How do you get out?

Glue the rope to the bookshelf and bring it down.

Same.

There is nothing behind it, as you can feel.
You sit down, disheartened. Then, you feel a drop.
Not a tear drop...a rain drop.
You look up, and can only just see light.

It is night time. No wonder you couldn't see light.
You look up more. It really starts pouring. You then feel shocked. That room is empty, and there is no way out..."Doesn't an empty room fill?" you think.
It then starts hailing. Just your luck.
If you climb your rope to the top, you will be injured by the hail and lose your grip. You need to get out of the room, using the hole in the roof.
But how?

Tape the book to my head and climb. And waer the yoyo on my hand.

Stripper pole dancing is the answer to all problems in life.

You get out of the roof, and quickly remove the book and tape. You rip out some hairs.
'Ow!' you exclaim, as you try to find a way down. You look over the edge, and there are a few ledges to get down. You jump down each one. You finally get to the ground. You look around, and you see yourself on an island.
You see a ship in the distance.
How do you get it's attention in this foggy, rainy, dark night?

Throw a book at the captain and shout.

I swing the yoyo over my head with the tissues attached.

You manage to call the ship over slowly, using a yoyo. (Shoop, the box was empty.) It worked somehow. But not before you almost lost the book, thinking of trying to throw it at the captain.
As the ship goes slowly in your direction, you notice a flag at the top. Not a normal country flag either. More like a demented plus sign...on an angle...is it...a swastika? You feel worried. Were there actually Nazi's on the ship? You ponder over this until the ship pulls up. Well, only one way to find out.
You walk on board, and they set off immediately. 'Where are we headed?' you ask. They all have puzzled looks on their faces. Then they start whispering to each other. In German. You feel even more insecure. Then, you see land in the distance. We were headed there. Suddenly, your legs were tied up, and you were hung upside down off of the side of the boat. They had a knife at the ropes. You seen what looked to be fins in the waters below. You have your arms free.
How do you save yourself?

Throw fake dog poo in their faces and glue myself to the side of the boat!

You look around at the depressing desperation of your situation. You are alone, friendless and with nothing on your person, except for the torch you were too stupid to use earlier. Your whole body shudders, feeling the weight of your situation. You sob.

You cast your thoughts back to how you got there. You can't think past 2 hours into the past. You seem to have no past. You certainly have no future. You seem to have no purpose in existence. Your shoulders heave with another bout of weeping. You call out to the Germans above you, "Töte mich! Schneiden Sie das Seil! Töte mich!", using some of the little German you picked up at school. There's no reason for your existence. You are the play thing of a few illiterate fools on the internet. What kind of life is that?

The sailors happily fulfil your request, a large, bulky sailor steps forward and slashes the ropes in one fluid motion. You suddenly feel the force of gravity taking hold as you fall through the air.

You hit the water with a spine splitting splash. You watch as several sharks accumulate themselves around you. One brushes past you, making its claim. In that one brush, you feel the strength, the power of the beast. There is definitely no way to survive. You feel the calm brought from acceptance. You pray that God, should he exist, will accept you.

The shark that staked its claim turns around and charges. You watch as the big jaws open, ready to sever all ties to the world. You close the eyes, and wait for the

crunch.

Seriously guys, what you're doing is not RP'ing

Fine then, smart @$$.

Smart At Dollar Sign Dollar Sign as in I won the game?

Baha, you lost the game.